In honor of FCFP’s 110th birthday, this year’s Regional Scholarship applicants were asked: If you could grant a wish to someone in your life, who would it be, what for, and why?
For 2026 recipient Hope Kaszuba, the question inspired a deeply personal reflection on gratitude, grace and a wish for her birth mother. Hope has shared the following essay for publication.
When asked the question, “If you could grant a wish to someone in your life, who would it be, what for and why?” Many complicated feelings arise within me––complicated feelings because only one person comes into mind, a person I do not even know the name of.
Almost two decades ago, in 2007, during a bitter cold transition between December and the New Year, I was left in the care of a downtrodden orphanage in rural Guiyang, China.
The abstract idea of my birth mother in the dead of winter, gifting me to the care of others, is a thought I know well. 18 years later, and I still think of Her when I make those daunting sacrifices life requires of us––or when I win so big I can’t help but consider what I’m the product of. While she may no longer be physically present in my life, it is the precise lack of her that shapes my identity and has propelled my life in ways I am not fully capable of expressing my gratitude for.
What I wish for her––no matter if we’ll ever cross paths again and regardless of if she has created a new family of her own and has given up my space in her heart––is that she may have the peace of mind to know that what she chose to do with me was the right choice and that I still hold love for the girl or woman who gifted me with this life. I wish that she may never experience regret or anger for choosing what was best for her, regardless of her reason. The resolve of my wish for her is unaffected by causation, because the effect she has on my life will always remain the same.
When I was very young and muddled by the chaos of my life, it was very difficult for me to find grace for Her. I couldn’t understand her perceived selfishness and irresponsibility––that she could leave her blood behind. It wasn’t until a moment when I was reading Jean-Paul Sartre that I was able to let go of the resentment about my past and embrace the gratitude that I did hold for my birth mother. Conceiving of Sartre’s argument that existence precedes essence, not the reverse––that we are put into the world and the burden is upon us to create meaning and purpose within the life we have––I reexamined the attitude I held towards my life. Being adopted essentially forced me to understand and be thankful for that concept. Thankful that because I was given existence, I’ve been allowed the opportunity to dictate my own essence.
It is out of this gratitude that my wish is formed. I hope she never has a moment where she doubts her choice, and that no matter what hardships she faces in life today, the memory of me isn’t one of them. Because of my birth mother, I have been able to grow and become a thoughtful citizen, a dutiful daughter, and a sincere friend. Her constant reminding force to be thankful for what I have and full of grace for those whose challenges are not my own forges my character and the person who I desire to be.
Whenever I wish upon a dandelion, birthday candle, or shooting star, I know what my heart will say: May peace rest upon her, wherever and whoever she is, because I know, with certainty, that I have been afforded that peace as well.
About the Regional Scholarship
In 2022, FCFP’s Board of Directors invested $100,000 from a budget surplus to establish the Foundation’s first endowed regional scholarship. The scholarship awards $4,000 annually and is open to graduating seniors throughout our region, including students attending public, private, charter and home schools.